In this this short eBook, you’ll you’ll find simple and practical practical information information to help you zero zero in on the real cause of binge binge eating— eating—the urges to binge—and stop letting those urges control you. Resources Resources for binge binge eaters eaters typically typically ask you to discover discover the deeper emotional meaning of the urges, but the Brain over Binge approach approach teaches the opposite—that opposite—that the urges are junk from a primitive part of your brain and aren’t worth your time or attention. The urges are meaningless, powerless, and harmless. You can learn to let the urges come and go without assigning them any significance or value, and most importantly—without acting on them. This is a brief guide to get you started started on your recovery. recovery. The concepts concepts discussed discussed here here are covered in depth in my books: Brain over Binge: Why I Was Bulimic, Why Conventional Therapy Didn’t Work and How I Recovered for Good, Good, and The Brain over Binge Recovery Guide: A Simple and Personalized Plan for Ending Bulimia Bulimia and Binge Eating Disorder Disorder..
understand and and gain control control of The Brain over over Binge Binge Basics eBook is a tool to help you understand binge eating. eating. It is not intended intended to replace replace the services services of trained health health professionals professionals or be a substitute for medical advice. Binge eating (and purging) can have serious health consequences. Please seek medical attention from a qualified healthcare provider for any concerning symptoms. This simple simple eBook is for those those who feel feel capable capable and and stable enough enough for self-rec self-recovery. overy. If there are complicati complicating ng mental mental or physical physical health issues, issues, or if you you have suicidal suicidal thought thoughts, s, please get professional help immediately. immediately. The author and publisher disclaim any liability arising directl directly y or indirectly indirectly from the use of this eBook. ______________________________ _______________ _____________________________ ____________________________ ___________________________ _______________ __ *A special note: note: To overcome overcome binge eating, it is vital vital that you you are eating eating enough enough and not dieting dieting restrictively. Please seek nutritional nutritional guidance if you need need it ( The ( The Brain over Binge Recovery Guide also contains ample information information on learning learning to eat normally). normally). Copyright © 2016 by Kathryn Hansen
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You don’t need a lengthy preparation process before you can quit, nor do you need to solve any of your other problems. You have the power in you right now to stop binge eating. To prepare, you only need to zero in on your problem and understand its cause, and set your focus on the goal of recovery. Throughout this eBook, you will need to remember remember this important concept, which is fundamental to the Brain over Binge approach:
The only direct direct cause cause of binge binge eating eating is: urges to binge. binge. If you didn’t have binge urges, you would not binge, no matter what else is going on in your life, no matter what emotions you are feeling, no matter matter what problems you are facing. There is nothing inherent about strong emotions or life’s problems that make you binge. It’s the urges that drive your behavior, regardless of when, where, how, or why they surface. Your urges encompass all of the thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and cravings that make you feel compelled to binge. Take a moment to think about your urges and how they get you to binge. In answering these questions, you are not trying to solve anything; you are only getting to know your urges a little better. (You can add to these answers over the next few days as you observe your urges.)
What do binge urges urges feel like to you? What thoughts encourage you to binge? binge? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ 2
Does the voice of the urge use “logical” reasons reasons to get you you to binge? List as many of those reasons as you can. ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ ____________________________ _______________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
What does the voice of the urge promise you? What payoff or rewards does it say you’ll get if you follow through and binge? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ _________________________________ ____________________________ __________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
What physical symptoms do your your binge urges urges create? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Write down down any patterns patterns you notice notice or anyt anything hing else about about your your urges. ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ 3
It is not usually helpful to try to find a complex or deep underlying emotional/psychological reason why you have these urges. Most of the time, time, urges are present because of two very simple factors:
1.) Survival Instincts (dieting). Binge eating is an adaptive response to dieting. Calorie restriction puts your body and brain in survival mode, causing you to crave and seek out large large amounts amounts of food. This This is a normal reaction reaction;; a symptom symptom of a healthy healthy brain. 2.) Habit (conditioning). Once you binge eat many times, your body and brain become conditioned to expect and demand the binges, so your brain automatically sends out strong urges, as if binge eating is necessary for your survival. This is a normal reaction; there is nothing wrong with you.
How do you think survival survival instincts and/or and/or habit played into the development development and maintenance of your binge eating? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Mainstream ideas tell us binge eating is a coping mechanism (for difficult emotions or life’s problems). If you’ve been led to believe that theory in the past, you may need to let go of it before you move forward. The following three questions can help you realize that binge eating is not a coping mechanism and that whatever pleasure it brings you isn’t worth it. 4
If you didn’t have urges to binge, would you binge anyway, anyway, just to to cope with feelings/problems in your life? Explain. Explain. _______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ ______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ ____________________________ _______________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
If you had no urges to binge, would you binge anyway, anyway, just for pleasure? Explain. ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
If you didn’t have urges urges to binge, would you binge anyway, anyway, just to (insert any reason you think you may binge, such as “deal with stress,” “avoid intimacy,” or “be emotionally numb”)? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ ____________________________ _______________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Without the urges, binge eating eating in order to receive receive those those “benefits” “benefits” doesn’t doesn’t make much much sense. The primary reason you binge binge is to cope with the discomfort of the urges, not your other problems. problems. The binge temporari temporarily ly makes the discomf discomfort ort of the urge go away; away; it doesn’t solve anything else, and in fact, it makes your other problems harder to handle.
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The voice of your urge may promise you relief from stress, distraction from boredom, or reprieve reprieve from sadness; sadness; but the actual payoff payoff is the opposite. opposite. Instead of pleasure pleasure or emotional stability, you you are left with with shame, pain, guilt, regret, and even more problems and difficult emotions in the long run. In other words…
The urge promises you a way to cope cope and true pleasure, but but doesn’t deliver. The intense “wanting” of the pleasure of a binge, or the desire for some sort of emotional benefit is only present temporarily while the the urge is working. working. After you you binge, you realize realize that it was not worth it: the promise of reward is false. Use the following two questions to focus on the disconnect between the pre-binge expectations and the post-binge reality.
Prior to a binge, what do your urges promise a binge will do for you? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
After a binge, what is your your actual “payoff”? In the long run, do the binges binges provide what the urges promise? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Even if binges binges do bring some temporary temporary distrac distraction tion from problem problemss or emotions, that that doesn’t mean binge eating gives you a way to cope, or true pleasure. The point here is to recognize that—without the urges making you feel so compelled to binge—you would never choose binge eating as a way to cope or receive receive pleasure. pleasure. 6
Zeroing in on the real cause of binge eating (the urges to binge) does not mean you will be indifferent to your other problems and difficult emotions. The problems in your life are real and deserve your attention; however, to recover, it’s it’s best to keep those challenges separate from binge eating. Below, list the problems and difficult emotions in your life that you will keep separated from binge eating. These could be emotional issues from from your past, daily daily stressors, relationship problems, anxiety, depression…etc.
Your other problems that you want to avoid linking to binge eating recovery are: ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ ___________________________ _______________ _ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ __________________________ ____________
If you ever begin to connect any of the above challenges to binge eating, tell yourself:
That is a separate problem with a separate solution. The only only direct direct cause of binge binge eating eating is an an urge to binge. binge.
It is certainly worthwhile to learn to to cope well with your other problems and difficult difficult emotions, but how well you cope has no bearing on whether or not you binge. The good news is that when you stop binge eating, many of your other challenges will naturally naturally go away, or improve improve significant significantly, ly, and you’ll you’ll have an easier time coping with with the ones that remain.
Now that you know the urges are the problem, you are ready to learn how to overcome those urges and stop binge eating, eating, starting on the next page… page…
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It’s time to focus on a solution to the problem you are experiencing (the urges to binge). With the Brain over Binge approach, your goal will be to begin viewing the urges in new way, and to dismiss them.
“Dismissing” “Dismissing” a binge urge means you stop giving giving tthe he urge attention, attention, stop believing what it says, and stop doing what it says to do. If that sounds too difficult right now, know kno w that it will become clear how this is possible. Dismissing Dismissing binge urges isn’t always effortless, effortless, but it’s it’s not a terrible terrible struggle. struggle. To help you, I’m going going to share the the “Five Components Components of Dismissing Dismissing Urges Urges to Binge,” which give you you the tools you need to change your perspective when the urges arise. *Special note: I will repeat repeat here that that this eBook is focusing on dismissing binge urges, urges, but it’s also vital that you eat enough enough during this process. process. Trying to dismiss dismiss binge urges urges while depriving depriving yourself yourself of enough food is nearly nearly impossible. When you are are starving, your your urges will likely overpowe overpowerr you, and they will not get weaker over time. Eating enough, coupled coupled with knowing how to dismiss binge urges, gives you the best chance to succeed. (Please seek nutritional support or see The Brain over Binge Recovery Guide)
The most important important thing thing to remember while while learning the Five Components Components of Dismissing Dismissing Urge Urgess to Bin Binge ge is tha thatt the binge urges are not you. The voice that encourages binge eating sounds very much like your own voice, but but it is not. The urges arise automatical automatically ly from a more primitive primitive,, animalistic animalistic part of your brain (which (which I refer to to as the the lower brain). The urges are a product of survival instincts and/or habit and do not indicate what you truly want or need.
Your urges are only faulty brain messages. You cannot make make these urges go away; you only need to learn to experience experience them differently so you can stop acting acting on them. Then they will go away on their own. In this component component you’ll start to see that any thought thought,, feeling, feeling, or sensation sensation that encourages binge eating is neurological junk. 8
The goal is to see that these thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations are temporary, faulty messages that are out of line with your true self. You may find yourself believing the faulty messages when you are in the midst of an urge, but when you you are not experienci experiencing ng an urge, you you realize realize that those those messages messages do not indicate your true wants and needs. Completing the following writing prompts will help you see this more deeply.
Urge Thoughts: Name one thought or or logical reason the “voice” “voice” of your urge tells you to get you to binge. ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
When you are between binges and feeling rational (and not experiencing an urge), do you truly believe believe that the above above thou thought ght warrants warrants binge eating? eating? Expla Explain. in. ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Urge Feelings: Name a feeling that you have prior to binge eating (anxiety, excitement, sadness, fear, etc.) and why it makes you feel compelled to binge. ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ _______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ ______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ 9
When you are between binges and feeling rational (and not experiencing an urge), do you truly believe that the above thought thought warrants binge eating? Explain. ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ _______________________________ _____________________________ ___________________________ ______________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Physical Symptoms of Urges: How does a binge urge make you feel physically? Name one or more physical symptoms that encourag encourage e you to binge. binge. ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
When you are between between binges and feeling rational rational (and not experiencing experiencing an urge), do you truly believe the above above physical symptoms warrants warrants binge eating? Explain. (It helps to think about whether or not a doctor would recommend binge eating as a remedy for the physical symptoms.) ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ____________________ _____________________________ ____________________ _____________________ ____________________ ______________________ _____________ _ *If binge eating temporarily makes a physical symptom go away, this is not a cure for that physical symptom. Binge eating only ensures that the symptom will keep coming back. back.
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Between binge binge urges, urges, your rational rational self can see that that the urges aren’t aren’t truly valid. valid. Knowing Knowing this makes you feel feel less compelled to take them seriously when they they arise. You don’t need to argue or fight with them, just relax in knowing that they are automatic and not deep and meaningful.uouo
You know your urges are neurological junk from the lower brain (a result of dieting and/or habit). habit). Now you need to know and feel that you—your true self—is completely separate from your urges and fully capable capable of dismissing them. This is what you will focus on in this component. Start by answering the following two questions:
What are the goals you you have for yourself that that are inconsistent with your your eating disorder? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ ____________________________ _______________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Do you feel like you freely choose choose for binge eating to be be part of your life? If you could push a button and make the urges go away, away, would you? Why? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ ____________________________ _______________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Although part of you wants to hold on to your habit, you know that you want more for your life. life. There is a greater greater part of you that wants to to quit. 11
What you may experience experience as mixed feelings about recovery recovery are the result of the two brains that are at work in binge eating: your lower brain and your higher higher brain.
You’ve already learned that the part of you that produces the binge urges is the lower brain. Now we’ll be focusing on the the higher brain, which is the part of you that is actually you. It’s the part of you that has long term goals inconsistent with the eating disorder and the part of you that wants to recover. Your higher brain (which can also be called your human brain, and more specifically, your prefrontal cortex) gives you the power to dismiss the urges, provided you separate yourself from your lower brain’s faulty messages. The difference difference between between the the higher and and lower brain brain is an important important reason reason why traditional treatment approaches (which focus on the deep emotional or psychological meaning of the urges) often fail. Spending time analyzing what is wrong with you in therapy is ineffective when it comes to binge eating eating because the urges urges don’t come come from you at all!
Write down some of your flaws and negative life experiences that you’ve previously blamed for your binge eating: ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Everyone has flaws and problems. You had problems before you began binge eating and you’ll have problems after you quit. Remind yourself daily not to connect the above problems to your binge eating. Instead of focusing on your problems and less-than-ideal qualities, it’s more helpful to focus on your inner strengths that you can use to your advantage while recovering. 12
Write down your strengths strengths and good qualities that that you can focus on. on. What is right about “you” that you can clearly see as distinct from the binge urges? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ _________________________________ ____________________________ __________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ _______________________________ ______________________________ ___________________________ _____________
Once you separate from the urges, you gain the ability to dismiss them. This is because you—residing in your higher brain—can veto any urge from the primitive brain, and only you have control of your voluntary muscles. The lower brain cannot make you walk to the refrigerator or pick up the food. The higher brain gives you identity, reason, and most importantly for binge eating recovery—your self-control functions. functions. All the lower brain can do is encourage you to binge, and send the signals of craving, but you always can decide what to do when you experience the urges. If you think about your life now, there are times when you use self-control very effectively. There are also certain things you would never consider doing, because of a strong moral conviction or simply because the actions would be absurd or too dangerous. These actions are simply not an option in your mind. When the action is not an option for you, it’s effortless effortless to resist. The more you can move binge eating into the category of behaviors you would never dream of performing, the easier it will be to feel separate from the urges.
Complete this sentence: sentence: If I ever had an urge to (insert any action that is simply not an option in your mind), I wouldn’t take it seriously. seriously.
Now, really try to create—in your mind—a desire to do that thing. Try to think of all the the benefits benefits of doing it; try to create feelings feelings of wanting. wanting. You’ll find find that you simply simply can’t convince yourself that it would be a good idea. By doing this mental exercise, you’ll also see that no thought in your brain can make your body take action. 13
What you’ve just experienced is the feeling of you being separate and more powerful than your your thoughts. thoughts. Your goal is to to begin treatin treating g binge urges urges in the same same way.
When you think about about binge eating as “not “not an option,” how do do you feel? (Right now, thinking this may create some fear or resistance, and that’s okay.) ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
The resistance you feel when you view binge eating as not an option is from your lower brain. When you feel this resistance, try telling yourself this: My lower brain wants to hold on to the habit, but binge eating is not an option for me. I always feel bad afterward, afterward, and I do not want to do things that make me feel bad.
Know that, if it weren’t for the urges, you would naturally view binge eating ea ting in the same way that you view view the absurd or dangerous dangerous activit activity y you used for the mental mental exercise exercise above.
Before you developed developed binge urges, did you ever consider binge binge eating as an option? Likewise, when your urges go away, would you ever entertain binge eating as an option? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ________________________________ ____________________________ ___________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Your urges are only temporarily convincing you that you want to binge, but you naturally view binge eating as not an option. Now you know you don’t have to identify with your urges anymore. You are separate and capable of choosing another path. 14
The goal of this Component Component is to minimize minimize and often eliminat eliminate e the uncomfortable uncomfortable feelings that the urges create, because those feelings can be what leads you to give in to the urges.
To begin Component 3, take a few minutes to think about feelings that your urges elicit in you, and write those feelings here (common feelings are frustration, anxiety, depression, excitement) ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Often, you you may binge binge just to make those uncomfort uncomfortable able feelings feelings go away. Without Without those feelings (or by reframing how you think about those feelings), you will be better able to let the urges come and go without giving them attention. The uncomfortable feelings you experience are often due to your reaction to the urges.
Take a few minutes to think about how you typically react to your urges (besides giving in)
· Do you get get angry angry that the the urges are present present and/or and/or won’t go go away? · Do you begin to feel sorry for yourself that you can’t just binge without all the consequences? · Do you begin to create plans to binge and get excited? · Do you try to analyze why you are having the urge and become frustrated that you can’t find a reason? · Do you argue with the urges, making yourself anxious?
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Some of your reactions are automatic and come without your conscious input, but some reactions are of your own creation. The next writing exercise will help you stop the counterproductive reactions that you have control over. Some counterproductive reactions are:
· · · · ·
Arguing Arguing with with the urge Engaging in any mental dialogue with the urge Turning attention to the urge Judging yourself or the urge instead of simply observing Trying to figure out why you are having the urge (*Once it’s there it doesn’t matter why it came in the first first place. Furthermore, finding a hypothetical reason for the urge often equals finding an excuse to give in.)
To stop reacting to urges, it’s helpful to use detachment. Detachment is when you (the real you in your higher brain) aren’t involved in what you are experiencing. Even though the internal and external factors are still still there, you are no longer personally invested. Detachment is when you simply let the urge be without fueling it with your yo ur mental and physical energy.
Imagine what Imagine what it would look and feel feel like to detac detach h from your your binge binge urges and and experience them without reacting, and write about that here. ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ _______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ ________________________________ __________________________ __________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
If you look at how you go about about your day, you’ll you’ll find that that you naturally naturally stay mentally mentally and emotionally detached from certain things/people/places/situations that don’t matter to you. Otherwise the world would be too overwhelming and distracting. You have to filter filter out what’s what’s important important to you.
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It’s possible to do this with binge urges as well, because the urges truly don’t matter matter to neurons firing firing in lower brain and and there there is no no reason to to become become you. They are just neurons emotional about them.
To practice detachment from binge urges, complete the following written exercise:
Write down two thoughts that typically encourage you to binge (Example: “No one is home tonight, this is your only chance,” or “Just one last time, then you can start over tomorrow.”) 1.)_______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ 2.)_______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ _______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ ______________________________ __________________________ ____________
Now close your eyes and think the first thought you wrote… Don’t offer any counterarguments counterarguments to the thought. Don’t engage in any mental dialogue with it (if other thoughts come c ome up automatically, that’s fine—simply observe them)
Notice that when you don’t react, no no strong or uncomfortable feelings surface. Repeat this exercise with the second thought. The more you repeat this this exercise, the more more you will realize this: Just because you hear something in your head, or feel feel a physical sensation in your body, it doesn’t mean you have to let it affect you.
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This step is the cure for binge eating. eating. You have a binge eating habit because you’ve acted on urges many times. The only way to reverse the habit is to to stop acting on those urges. In this way, recovery is vastly simplified. Repeatedly following your urges to binge has created strong, organized neural pathways in your lower brain that support your your behavior. The only way to to weaken those neural pathways is to stop following the urges. When you stop binge eating, the neural connections that supported the destructive behavior will fade, and the urges will go away. away. Each time you don’t act on an urge, you are actually utilizing neuroplasticity to rewire your brain.
To avoid acting on the urges there is nothing you have to do. When the urges arise, your only goal is to remain remain detached detached and not act on them; but you you can do anything anything you’d like during the urge. For example, you can just go about your your day as usual, pick an activity you you enjoy until the urge passes, or just sit quietly in a comfortable spot and observe your brain.
The brain learns better from success success than failure, so you you are going to keep track of your successes only. Whenever you avoid avoid acting on an urge, write about about how it felt, what you did or didn’t do, and what you learned in the space space below. ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ ________________ _____________________________ ____________________________ ___________________________ _______________ _ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ ________________________________ __________________________ ___________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ 18
If there are times that you do act on on urges, urges, don’t don’t dwel dwelll on that. that. Come Come back back to the page page above and read about how you succeeded in the past, so you can move forward with renewed focus on on what works.
When you change your perspective surrounding the experience of the urges, dismissing them may be easy for you. You may have instant success that snowballs quickly into complete recovery. Alternately, it may prove to be uncomfortable at first and take some time before you can consistently not act on urges. If you are finding finding dismissing urges urges to be difficult, difficult, the next written exercise will help you view the discomfort in a new way.
What discomfort discomfort do you have during a binge binge urge, when you are not acting on it? Describe in detail what exactly is uncomfortable about the experience: experience: ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ ____________________________ _______________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ _______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ ________________________________ __________________________ __________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
Now write about about the discomfort you have after a binge. binge. Describe in detail detail all of the uncomfortable physical and emotional sensations you have post-binge. ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ ________________ ______________________________ _____________________________ ___________________________ ______________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
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Look at your answers to to the two questions on the previous page, and ask yourself:
Which discomfort discomfort would you rather? The temporary discomfort you have have while not acting on an urge, or the post-binge discomfort? Consider which which lasts longer longer and which which is more painful. ______________________________ _______________ ________________________________ _______________________________ __________________________ ____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
The discomfort discomfort of an unsatisfied unsatisfied binge urge goes away relatively relatively quickly, quickly, but the postbinge discomfort lingers and grows grows and affects affects all parts of your life. life. It’s important to recognize that you do have a choice, but for the vast majority of people, the binge eating causes much more discomfort than any unmet cravings. Remember that discomfort is part of most most beneficial changes in life; it only signals that you are growing into into the person you want to be. Furthermore… Furthermore… The discomfort you feel when when not acting on an urge isn’t actually your discomfort; it’s the lower brain’s.
When you feel uncomfortable uncomfortable not acting on an urge, remind yourself of this: The lower brain prefers comfort (it’s a normal survival mechanism), but its comfort (binge eating) causes you much more discomfort and pain that you aren’t willing to live with anymore. You are actually much more comfortable dismissing urges.
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Component 5 is a bonus, and for most people, it’s it’s a very natural product of Components 1-4. When you don’t don’t act on binge urges, urges, you are excited! This excitement isn’t isn’t just about feeling good; it actually has a useful neurological function. It speeds along brain changes that erase your binge binge eating habit. Praise (including praise from within), and excitement for learning something new cements cements that learning learning on a physical physical level level in in the brain. brain. In other other words… words… Celebrating a new discovery or skill increases the likelihood that it will be remembered and repeated.
Congratulating yourself serves to to strengthen connections in in the prefrontal parts of your your brain and weaken the pathways in the lower brain that supported your habit.
How can you turn attention toward your higher brain’s success in dismissing urges? (Examples: Verbally congratulating congratulating yourself, rewarding yourself in non-food non-food ways; ways; announcing it to a trusted friend or mentor). ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ________________________________ ____________________________ ___________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __
As you have more and more success success dismissing binge urges, you’ll notice other things in your life that are worth celebrating as well. Without binge eating, you have the wonderful opportunity to do other things. Although doing other things won’t magically take your urges away, focusing attention elsewhere can actually help the faulty brain pathways change faster. So try to get on with your life and put your attention on things other than food.
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Of course your life won’t be perfect, and you’ll have problems just like everyone else in the world, but turning your mental energy away from binge eating, as well as being excited excited about the positive effects effects of being binge-fre binge-free, e, will help weaken weaken the habit.
What is already in your life that you can focus attention on (especially those things you can get excited about)? about)? What positive things things can you add to your your life? ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ _______________________________ ______________________________ ___________________________ _____________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ _________________________________ ____________________________ __________
What are the positive results of not not binge eating? (Every time you add add something to this list, get excited about it!) ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ________________________________ ____________________________ ___________ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ _______________ ______________________________ ____________________________ __________________________ _______________ __ ______________________________ ________________ ______________________________ _____________________________ __________________________ ______________ _
*This is the end end of “The Brain Brain over over Binge Binge Basics” Basics” eBook eBook.. Than Thank k you for for reading! reading! I hope hope it has helped you see your binge urges in a new way and allowed you to feel your own power to overcome them. If you want more information, my two books ( Brain Brain over Binge , , 2011 2011 and The and The Brain over Binge Recovery Guide, 2016) cover the concep concepts ts in much greater detail. For a more guided approach, approach, you can check out out my two courses: The Brain over Binge 8-Week Group Course , Course , which which includes support; and The and The Brain over Binge Independent Study Course that you can work through at your own pace. I wish you all the best in your recovery! -Kathryn 22